Thursday, September 25, 2008

Something More To Life: Two

I'd never been on this side of it all, but I guess now I am. It's rather comical really, I actually enjoy it. Not because of the facts, but because it feel's good inside. If anything, the facts are the things I hate, the things I wish were not facts at all. Though I am still unsure as to whether or not this will be something great, I know I like it now. I finally have some structure, some clarity, something to give importance and meaning to my day.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Something More To Life: One

I wonder how my father's doing.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Clarity: Open Window

My life is this room. Each item is another memorable moment. All the little specs of dust, people in my everyday. This room only has one exit, and that's for a later time. She's helped me though. There's another exit. A Window, but wait, this is not an exit at all, it's something better, something to air out this stale old room. Something to get rid of this stuffy feeling, something to "un-stuck the stuck". The greatest gift one could ask for! Something "NEW" in life. I'm not trapped anymore, it's no longer a repeated variation day to day. Oh what a lovely window!

Truth: An Attempt

I once overhear a mouth speak "truth"
Yet lie after lie spilled out on the side
And little by little the line between the two
Became so blurred and so broken
Till finally, truth became lie, and lie became truth
And every word I spoke held no proof
Even I was unsure of the validity my words held
And to this day, I have no clue

Friday, September 19, 2008

She: A Poem

And she began to read, "I swept my hand across the sky and watched the clouds dispel from me. Continuing to flutter by until they're where they want to be." Oh how beautiful, I thought. Clouds always were my favorite, and now I had a little piece all to myself. Thank you<3

And again!
Never had clouds ever wavered so low
Or landed themselves on my ceiling
With your songs in my head at the foot of my bed
You just give me the loveliest feeling
I see stars in my sky when I thought all had died
And they’ve printed themselves on my ceiling
You’ve shown me your mind of a beautiful kind
And it gives me the funniest feeling
One day we'll own the sky!

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Lost Landscape: Ignorance is Bliss

The first thing I noticed was the sharp pain in my back which was slowly pulsing in and out, in and out. I raised my shirt and gently pressed on the origin of this aching. When I looked at my hand, my two fingers were covered in blood. I took off my shirt and tied it around my chest, covering the new found wound on my back. Due to the strong agony I was in, I had yet to realize where I was. The middle of a large open field. There was no sign of human life anywhere, no cars driving by, no smoke from a factory stack, no noise from construction, no screams of violence, no eyes of segregation, no mouths to speak of hate and evil, it was pure bliss. Despite the ever-growing pain in my back, everything was perfect. I've learned to deal with this pain, I've learned how to ignore it. And so here I live, in perfect bliss, ignoring all the pain.

Today: Again

I woke up next to her, but we were not holding each other. I then recalled that we had been fighting the night before. However, I was not sure as to what we were fighting about, I tried to remember, but I was drawing a blank. I had been drunk yes, maybe that's why it all just seems like a blur of yells. I dreaded her waking up, for I knew that once she opened her eyes and saw me, she too would remember what a beast I had been the night before. Oh what a monster I must have been. I noticed broken glass, oh what a monster I must have been. I noticed alcohol soaking on the floor, oh what a monster I must have been. I noticed her eyes, swollen and red from tears, oh what a monster I must have been. I noticed a mess of everything around the apartment, oh what a monster I must have been. I noticed vomit in and around the toilet, oh what a monster I must have been. I noticed myself in the bathroom mirror, oh... oh what a monster I am.

She: One

My favorite book is, "Life = Senselessness" by Julian Stromer. It reads in reverse, so once you get to the end you're really only at the beginning of it all. The only problem is, it makes no sense whatsoever, and it seems as if though things happen for no reason.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Suburban Sky: Escape

I was trapped. I knew it would be like this, the only thing I was unsure of was when it would all happen, but now I know. September seventeenth, two thousand and eight. It's as if all the rows of identical home after home have slowly been closing in on me. As if these construction workers had been plotting out my death and entrapment since the beginning, paid to capture this weak and lonely boy. Well congratulations to you all, congratulations.

Restlessness: Night

And so I just sat there. A blank stare on my face, gazing off deep past the wall in front of me. I'm not certain as to how long I sat there in silence, thinking about him, and about what he must be feeling. I'm sure he likes me as much as I like him, I mean, my friend told me so. My friend would not lie to me! What reason would she have to? I mean, yeah we were drunk, but he's not the type to sleep with someone just to get some... right? Oh I don't know anymore, all I know is this wall is not getting anymore transparent, and none of this makes any sense whatsoever!

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Clouds: Goodmorning

I woke up this morning with half my limbs hanging off the bed. I woke up this morning with the rising sun shinning on half my face. I looked up and out at the beautiful sky, and marveled at how lovely the clouds looked on this particular morning. The way the morning sun made each cloud look so warm and so soft. I laid in bed for hours just looking up at the sky. Until finally, there was nothing left to do on this lovely morning.

Hello: An Introduction

This is my first entry on Blogspot, a move from Myspace blogs. I'm somewhat intimidated and afraid for some reason. I think it's the new environment. I hope things become a bit less awkward for my fingers. Hello! and thank you<3