Tressa Marie Scharf

I am in love with you.

I Had a Dream

That my father, the one who I thought for so many years was living out in Southern America due to the fact that he was deported for drug smuggling, was living with my other side of the family. And I broke out in tears when I saw him, not because I was finally seeing him for so long, but because he was living in California, and he had not tried to get in touch with me. He tried to explain himself, but I just walked away.


Oh well.

Another "Attempt"

I tried to rip the sky with my bare hands
I tried to pull apart the clouds and get through to the cold blue sky
I tried to climb out by pulling on the stars, and slowly working myself up
I tried to grab on to rotating planets and large rocks
I tried to escape this horrible form of slavery I've brought myself into
However, I was always a quitter.

Younger

We sat on her bed, and she showed me photograph after photograph of her in her younger years. Each one tied to a story of what once was. The further we dug into the pile, the younger she became. The less fragile, the less scared, and the less unhappy she would become as well. Until finally, a photograph of her first birthday was uncovered. She paused, there was no story to tell, you could read it in the photo. You could see how fragile, how scared, and how unhappy she was. She was a little girl, and already she was lost. She let her body fall and she laid there on my lap, still holding onto the photograph. I combed my fingers through her hair and promised her that I would do all I could to keep her safe.

If I Could Fuck Myself Real Good

"Oh, don't get all mushy on me Jesse!" She said as I leaned in and began confessing my love for her.
I told her I was too high to realize how weird I was being, but that wasn't true. I was as sober as ever.
"Are you going to go to the Animal Collective show on the 23rd?" She asked. "Yeah, you?" I responded. "I'm not sure, I want to go, but none of my friends want to go. They think Animal Collective is just a bunch of noise! They obviously have never heard Loch Raven, or Number One, or Unsolved Mysteries, or Banshee Beat, or any of that stuff! They're probably basing it off of like Who Could Win a Rabbit or some shit! Hha." "I know what you mean, I HATE Who Could Win a Rabbit. Why don't you come with my friends and I?" She looked at me, a bit puzzled like. I'm not sure what she was thinking in that split second. Maybe something along the lines of whether or not I'd try to make a move on her then, or if I'd think of it as more than just two friends going to a show. She would have been right to think both those things of me. The only way I could justify it is by saying that I'm lonely. And by saying that I haven't had sex in six months now. Not that that's any justification at all.
"Sure" she finally said, after what seemed like a lifetime of deliberation. "Okay" I said, and then I leaned in for a kiss and we fucked all night long... Yeah, that's how it happened... Yeah...

I Don't Wish That I Was Dead

I saw my ex-lover on the TV today. She'd gone off and become a famous writer. I was overcome with such a strange feeling. I looked over at my wife, in the kitchen, while staring at her on the screen. I guess I was afraid my wife would notice me staring at her breasts. How sick I am, I thought. How ungrateful I am. Here I am, sitting in a living room fully furnished by my wife, after eating a delicious meal that my wife so lovingly prepared, and yet here I am. Salivating over my ex-lover as if I were some predator, and her the prey. I truly am a monster.