Those Days

I don't feel much like myself anymore.
It's more like a hollow shell that looks like me on the outside but is anything but me on the inside
I'm just sitting around, sleeping early, not eating much, not watching much tv, not reading much, not making art or music much, not online much, I'm just here.
Not doing much of anything.
I don't feel much like myself anymore.

Oh Gaby

Oh Gaby
Stop looking at me
With those cloudy eyes
Before I start to cry

'Cause everybody you love
Will soon be leaving you, love
And everyone you hold dear
Will soon be leaving you here

Oh Gaby
Stop talking at me
With those pouty lips
Before I want to quit

And everyone you once knew
Will wash their hands free of you
And everyone you once loved
Will soon be leaving you, love

Oh Gaby
Stop singing at me
With that broken voice
Because I have no choice

Okay, okay

I know, I know
I never thought I was that bad
Not till after that whole, long, mess I made, did I realize how true it was
And I really didn't mean not to show the day after the concert, I really didn't
I'm just glad you are still you and you are still present in some form
I'm just glad, I really am
I'm reading The Cather in the Rye, I'm trying to get in to books
Due to the way Holden talks, I find myself adding the "(pronoun) really (blank)" at the end of sentences
I'm not making too much sense
I just got done watching Sicko
It's pretty sad
Makes me want to run away :]

Well, it was nice talking to you
Via Blogspot
I guess thing's aren't too bad
I guess life's not too bad
Everything's going to be okay, "if you just believe!" :D

Rubbish

-It's funny, how stupid everything is...

-Yeah

-I mean, you try so hard to find some sort of meaning to your everyday. You try so hard to make things work, and so hard to tie everything together, to make it all logical, but then in the end, it's really all just a big waste. It's all just a big mess of fog and plastic and all the inbetweens that blur everything you thought was. It's all just a bunch of overused commas and underused vocabulary. It's all just a bunch of people floating through their day to day in search of something concrete. But the fact is we're all still young, and the fact is we probably won't last with anyone we hold too close. Maybe I just need to be more determined, maybe I'll change soon, maybe. Or maybe it all just takes time, maybe it's too early for any of us. I never meant to shatter windows, I never did. I never meant to be such a beast, I never do. I know that even the sincerest of apologies is really no good now. I guess, deep down, I'll always be this monster that I am, and I'll continue to crash through glass, and I'll continue to overuse less than threes, and I'll continue to stay up late, and I'll continue to write songs, and I'll continue to make art, I'll continue to slowly hand myself out to the world until finally I'm nothing but a hollow shell. Maybe that's justice enough. Or maybe that's just the self-pity kicking in.

-Yeah

-It's funny how stupid everything is...