Monday, October 21, 2013

Cheat Week

I gave myself one last week
One last week to play around and pretend feeling and acting like everyone else, like everything's fine, and to continue doing things the way I'm comfortable doing them is okay.
That ends today
I played sad songs, I got high
I made out with and fingered a cute girl at a party
I'm even typing this sad, reminiscent blog post
I'm drunk

Hopefully this cheat week will be enough for me to move on
Hopefully I won't come back to this
It all seems grim this night
But hopefully


Monday, September 9, 2013

The Top of the Mountain/ The Mountain Top

We hiked to the top of the mountain.
But there was nothing there.
Maybe it wasn't the time..
Maybe I wasn't in the right state of mind..
Maybe there isn't anything after all

At least I got a pretty view
And at least I got away for a weekend
Maybe I just need some shrooms..

Thursday, August 29, 2013

Let Me In Again

She's moving to Florida now, and all I can think is, "one last fuck."
I don't even know if it's what I really want, but it could be fun, right?

Take A Break

I always tell myself to take a break from girls
When I was younger, it was always one girl after the other
One failed love after a fling after another failed love
I'm older now, "wiser," but I still haven't been able to take my own advice
Sure I haven't been "in a relationship" in a while, but I'm still filling in that hole with people, and I'm still failing them
But I get lonely too
I need
I want
I feel for people still
And I guess I don't want to be alone
I just don't want to begin another failed relationship

It's going to be a long time before I finally take on another relationship
But I need to take a break
Or else it'll just be another failed love after a fling

Society's Dream

Many times I worry about you
And about how you say it's okay
Many times I ask you questions
Just to see if you'll acknowledge the truth
I know you can feel it
I know you have sensed it
But I know it's easy to forget it and fall back into old habits
When will it ever change?
When will we ever have the courage?
How can it ever change?

Friday, July 26, 2013

The Wrong Thing

I watched him hold her as she wiped the tears from her eyes
He looked lost
This was all his doing, but he looked confused still
He was holding her, to console her, to tell her not to cry
But he also didn't want to let go, he wanted her even more then

As I watched through my truck's window, waiting at that red light
I knew who he was
I saw myself in him

She moved away, still wiping her tears
She was ready to let go
But he still wanted to hold her
That poor, selfish fool

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

My Bugs

My bugs are crawling in, and they shouldn't be
They're speaking gentler now, and they shouldn't be
I'm afraid one day I'll smash my bug, and I shouldn't be
But how long can I go on saying that things shouldn't be?

How much attention do I need?
How much attention do you need?